I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
