And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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