Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
