he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
