I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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