youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize