i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
