can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
