He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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