oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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