I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
