He asked to "fluff my boner.."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
