Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
