Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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