he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
