remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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