i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cockslap morals
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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