I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
