So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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