That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
