when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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