She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
