We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
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