haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
