i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
