how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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