I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
