He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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