Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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