Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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