this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
