Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
