Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He felt like a one man threesome
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
