a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
