I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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