somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I'm really busy with my period
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