this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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