so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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