So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
