Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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