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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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