shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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