I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize