Little spoons don't ask big questions
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
