good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
