Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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