So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
