Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i drank out of a bidet.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
