508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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