yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
