I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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