My balls are so social today.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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