God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
