so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
