Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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