The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
