Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
