girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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