The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
