some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Never joke about your clitoris.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
