how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
love makes seman taste better
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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