Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

How come twittering sounds sexual?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Because of Bambi.

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(609): How come twittering sounds sexual? (267): Because of Bambi. http://tfl.nu/cgx2

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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(617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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(504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku

Replies (35) Good night (916) Bad night (2734) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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(630): you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page http://tfl.nu/nscl

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!

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(248): I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there! http://tfl.nu/8urv

Replies (14) Good night (2420) Bad night (3461) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

(843): View more from South Carolina

drunk me is so punny.

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(803): so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life. (843): drunk me is so punny. http://tfl.nu/qdzv

Replies (19) Good night (8607) Bad night (847)
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(212): View more from New York

ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

(1-212): View more from New York

this is Aaron, hi

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(212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd

Replies (48) Good night (20342) Bad night (2051)
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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(707): You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/2b7s

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(480): View more from Arizona

From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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(480): From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him. http://tfl.nu/9mdh

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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(920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n

Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (2067) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

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(706): I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat. http://tfl.nu/8z1a

Replies (30) Good night (574) Bad night (5870)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.

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(208): Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex. http://tfl.nu/ah09

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(818): View more from California

Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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(818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0

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(317): View more from Indiana

Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm

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(317): Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm http://tfl.nu/8nyo

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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(717): I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor http://tfl.nu/quon

Replies (9) Good night (963) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt

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