went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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