He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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