It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
