Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
