If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
