when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
