you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
