She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the night ended with taco bell and tears
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
