girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
