The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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