You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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